Couldn't think of a better heading, and no, this has nothing to do with sex. My heartfelt apologies to those who were thinking of getting their "fixes"; I only wanted to grab attention.

Is it better to have direction in life or to just go with the flow? I’ve always thought the former better, because having a map, no matter how sketchy, is more reassuring when navigating through the perilous paths in life. On the other hand, having no map nor compass would leave one stranded at sea.

Is that to say having direction makes one’s life better? I think possessing that proverbial map is what leads us to the obstacles in life in the first place. This is because a goal, no matter how small, will inevitably have obstacles for us to overcome – there is no free lunch in this world. Every time there is a problem, we’d crack our heads to solve it, and if we don’t, not only is energy wasted, but we get disappointment as well – not a very fair deal. Sure, you’d say that the rewards of success can be gratifying – the sweetness of success being inversely related to the ease of achieving it – like finding buried treasure. But just like finding buried treasure, success is rare, and most of the time all you get is an old and empty chest. For every one success, there have been hundreds of other people who have failed in the same undertaking.

I don’t know why is there a sudden rush of cynicism in me – it’s quite out of character -but when I start pondering about it – especially since I’ve all the time in the world to do so - it gets me thinking about how worthwhile is my ambition. There are times when I think it’s better to lead a carefree life without having to worry about whether I’m on schedule to accomplish my goals, and just live day to day instead of planning for the future. These doubts linger not just because of the fear of failure, but the fear that I’m striving for the wrong goal. It’s really sad if you spend half your life working towards something only to find out at the end that it’s not the thing you really wanted.

I don’t want regret.